As children we are exposed to a set of values, right or wrong, based on the moral agenda of our parents. Their values and child rearing skills are often created from their own childhood or experiences. Whatever the case is as children we begin to create our reality based on what we see in our immediate environment. Our ideals about relationships, sex and how we feel about ourselves begins to form.
When I was a little girl I use to fantasize about being a Queen. I didn’t have the traditional fantasies of a white picket fence, husband and 2.2 children. My mother raised us alone, for the most part and although my dad was part of my life, it was clear to me that we didn’t have the traditional set up. Being an attractive young woman I often received a lot of attention from the opposite sex which continued to shape my views and feed new desires. At one point I pretty much figured that I could get anything I wanted as long as I was “nice” to boys and men. I’d bat my eyelashes, bend over and flash a cute little smile. It was like kryptonite to men. At some point I tapped into the magic of denial. It all began quite innocently when I would reject the affections of a boy only to watch him switch into a groveling whiner. At a very young age I realized that less was more and that the art of seduction had to be a very clever engagement.
The truth was that any clever woman that understood the complexity of desire could have almost anything she wanted.
In my teens I had the “game” pretty much figured out. I was hot, sexy and the truth is I had the world by the balls because of it. This isn’t something a feminist wants to hear and it certainly doesn’t seem empowering to women, however I began to notice this very same magic in other women less attractive. It was clear that although beauty was an instant lure, the truth was that any clever woman that understood the complexity of desire could have almost anything she wanted.
