As children we are exposed to a set of values, right or wrong, based on the moral agenda of our parents. Their values and child rearing skills are often created from their own childhood or experiences. Whatever the case is as children we begin to create our reality based on what we see in our immediate environment. Our ideals about relationships, sex and how we feel about ourselves begins to form.
When I was a little girl I use to fantasize about being a Queen. I didn’t have the traditional fantasies of a white picket fence, husband and 2.2 children. My mother raised us alone, for the most part and although my dad was part of my life, it was clear to me that we didn’t have the traditional set up. Being an attractive young woman I often received a lot of attention from the opposite sex which continued to shape my views and feed new desires. At one point I pretty much figured that I could get anything I wanted as long as I was “nice” to boys and men. I’d bat my eyelashes, bend over and flash a cute little smile. It was like kryptonite to men. At some point I tapped into the magic of denial. It all began quite innocently when I would reject the affections of a boy only to watch him switch into a groveling whiner. At a very young age I realized that less was more and that the art of seduction had to be a very clever engagement.
The truth was that any clever woman that understood the complexity of desire could have almost anything she wanted.
In my teens I had the “game” pretty much figured out. I was hot, sexy and the truth is I had the world by the balls because of it. This isn’t something a feminist wants to hear and it certainly doesn’t seem empowering to women, however I began to notice this very same magic in other women less attractive. It was clear that although beauty was an instant lure, the truth was that any clever woman that understood the complexity of desire could have almost anything she wanted.
I went to college and had a professional map well planned. Intelligent, sophisticated and with a major bag of tricks I was ready to bite the world in the ass. There was an evaluation I made while working as a fetish model and phone sex operator. I was far enough into my schooling to begin interning and thinking about my professional career. These were my options;
1) Become a professional. Work for someone else, most likely a man that thought about grabbing my ass everyday and uses macho manipulation to attempt to control me, however we all know how that really works. (laughing) I get to work 50-60 hours a week, busting my ass making some idiot rich that probably spends 30% of his pay on phone sex, strippers and hookers.
2) Become a Goddess and phone sex diva that wakes up when I feel like it, has an orgasm, lies in bed in my nightie driving men crazy. I can put on my headset and earn the same amount of money in my garden while talking to an adoring sissy and the only real pressure I have is the UPS man delivering yet another gift and interrupting a call.
Hard choice, huh? (laughing)
But once again the complexity of desire presents itself in my own sexual fantasies. I’m talking to a guy on the phone sharing a kinky hot phone sex fantasy. My imagination is spinning away, he’s moaning and we engage in an intense dynamic that sends me into an erotic headspace. I hang up and as the day progresses I start adding to the fantasy and wondering which playmate I’ll unleash this on. I have all the weapons I need, having mastered the art of seduction, to lure almost any man into my creative kinky web. Bingo, got ‘em and as long as his cock is hard he’ll go along with almost anything. He’s thrilled at my creativity and how excited this kinky fantasy is making me. I think that I’ve found a new partner in crime and we’ll take this fantasy to new heights, deepening and exploring this new treat. So I email him, text him, leave messages and no reply. Weeks go by and finally I get the Dear Jane email.
“Goddess Josephine,
You are an amazing woman. The last time we were together was incredible and I never exploded like that before. More than anything I want to be your total slave BUT it’s just all too consuming for me and scares the shit out of me. I’m sorry but I’m just not worthy. ”
What the fuck just happened? He had the most intense orgasm ever and yet he’s using the excuse of not being worthy because the truth is that he’s too afraid to continue? Meanwhile I’m reeling into the next hot adventure. It’s like crashing into a wall. All that work to lure him in hook, line and sinker just to have him to feel guilty about likely it too much?
This also happens with some of my callers. We’ll engage in a hot dress up sissy fantasy or a steamy public humiliation scene. He’s panting, begging, groveling and we’re both really into it. Later I might get an email or not hear from him at all. Months pass and he calls with a confession. He was overwhelmed by my creativity (the reason he called me in the first place) and my apparent excitement. He didn’t want to let me down or disappoint me. He confesses that he called other phone mistress’s but began to miss the intensity we had invested in. He realizes it’s just not the same and here he is, hard cock, dripping in submission, so horny his body is shaking and yet so fucking nervous he’s about to pee his panties. (laughing)
Fantasies are just that, fantasies. Your sexual desires come in waves and the truth is they are ever changing. Everyone has a few hot buttons, the old faithful turn-on’s that does it every time, however it’s perfectly natural to explore new avenues. The key is to remember its only one aspect of your life, entertainment and sexual fulfillment. If sex is consuming your life, causing you to lose income and ruin your relationships then you have another problem called “addiction”. Why the hell can’t we wake up and have sexual fantasies as if we were selecting an outfit for the day or ordering lunch? (laughing) Seriously, how about a little tease with a side of denial? Maybe we’ll start with a hot spanking and finish with a good fucking? Afterward we’ll take a siesta and get our asses back to the REAL WORLD and earn a living. Unfortunately you’re not as lucky as I am where you can off to work, continue to be naughty and make a living at it. (laughing)
So lighten up boys! Just tell us what you’re thinking but don’t write me a script. Leave enough room for my own creativity and if we’re in the middle of a hot fantasy carefully inject something new into it. Communicate with us and tell us what drives you fucking mad. Don’t you know that making you crazy, hearing you pant and moan is what turns us on? Today you wanna be a sissy in panties and tomorrow you wanna be a human puppy. It’s ok. Have fun with it. Get off and move on. Explore different women, hot new fantasies and if it doesn’t work out try something new.
Cheers!
Josephine
thank you!
Honesty is as hot as any erotic fantasy. Love it!
This was an excellent piece. You’re an excellent piece too! lol
Seriously, this was wise, profound, witty and full of a deep understanding of human nature.
You are a wonderful woman.
Thank you beautiful Delia!
Goddess Josephine:
Very well said! I love a good fantasy, and get quite hot over oh so many of them. *Hugs*
Empress Delia